She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize