How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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