I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
