6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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