Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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