i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
