I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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