therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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