She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
