I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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