The maid of honor just puked.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
