idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
