i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
