It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
