Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We are all done wearing pants today
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
