then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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