I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
