I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
