Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
