Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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