I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
