You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
