that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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