his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
