I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just had sex on a roof
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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