We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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