Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
