i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize