What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
