Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
