i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
