Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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