Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
