Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Let's get the cat blown out
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
