Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
