just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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