I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's rum buckets o'clock
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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