that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
