im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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