Kiss
Puke
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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