Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
