I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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