i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
