he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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