dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
