i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
