I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Someone signed my nipple.
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