Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
