did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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