After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
