i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
