omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
