Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
