Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
