he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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