just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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