Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
