Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
