Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
