I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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