Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
