fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
